"Snape’s Rhapsody"
To the tune of Bohemian Rhapsody by Queen

A twenty-two years old Severus Snape is sitting on his bed in a dark bedroom. A black hooded cloak and a mask with slits for eyes lay on the blanket, beside him ...

Snape:
Is this the real life?
Is this just fantasy?
Caught in a nightmare,
No escape from reality
I open my eyes, I look up to the skies and see,
I'm just a poor fool, I need no sympathy,
Because I'm Death Eater now, for the Dark Lord,
there’s no place for me to go,
Tomorrow I can even die, Only one really matters to me, to me

Snape goes to Hogwarts to talk with Albus Dumbledore, the headmaster. The old man understands the young man’s despair and tells him to confide in him, inviting Snape to call him by his first name.

Snape:
Albus just killed a man,
Aimed my wand at his head, said Avada, now he's dead
Albus, life had just begun,
But now I've gone and thrown it all away
Albus, ooh, Didn't mean to fall this down,
If I'm not back again this time tomorrow,
Oh please, don’t cry for me, my life doesn’t really matters

Too soon, my time has come,
Sends shivers down my spine, body's aching all the time
Goodbye, Headmaster, I've got to go,
Gotta leave it all behind and face my doom
Albus, ooh, I don't want to die,
I sometimes wish I'd never been born at all
Please help me! Please help me!

Albus: You could join the Order...

Some years later ... Snape is now working at Hogwarts as Potion Master.

Hogwarts students:
I see a black silhouetto of a man,
It is Snape, it is Snape, we better disappear from his sight
Billowing black robes, very, very fright'ning me
(Severus) Severus (Severus) Severus, Severus Snape
Terrifying! He’s just an ugly git and nobody loves him

He's just an ugly git from a half-blood family,
Spare us our lives from his cruelty
Snape comes, Snape goes, will he let us go?
Basiliskman! No, he will not let us go
(Let us go!) Basiliskman! He will not let us go
(Let us go!) Basiliskman! He will not let us go
(Let us go) Will not let us go
(Let us go) Will not let us go (Let us go) Ah
No, no, no, no, no, no, no

Harry’s wondering the corridors at night under his invisibility cloak, and he sees Snape approach
Harry:
(Oh mama mia, mama mia) Mama mia, let me go
If he catches me out at night, it’s sure a detention
for me, for me, for me

Snape talking to himself:
So you think you can escape me and be safe tonight?
So you think I can’t get you and make you cry
Oh, Potter, can't avoid me for long, Potter,
Just gotta get out, and I’ll make you expell from school this year

Nothing really matters, Anyone can see,
Nothing really matters,
Nothing really matters to me
Anything Headmaster says ...
© 2004-2008

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